How do you get that unfaithful man out of your heart? How do you find the strength to let him go and move on? For some, this is hard to do because you have lifelong ties to him because he is the father of your children. For others, you aren't able to move on right now because of financial reasons.
Face it. As long as you have physical proximity to this man, it is going to be hard to get him out of your heart. However, if you don't have any of these constraints, then you have to step up, get the strength and toss him out of your heart on your own. You have to be the one to finally say that he is no good for your heart and move on. Yes, the memories and good times are going to cloud your ability to make good decisions. But, remember, he cheated on you. Those good times are really blurred when you take that into consideration.
If you aren't married to your unfaithful man, break up and find another man. Simple! It may take a lot of dating to get to another good man, but you still have the option to do so. Consider your opportunities.
If you aren't married to your unfaithful man, but are still living with him, move out. Ride out your lease or even break it. Not as simple, but it can be done. Find another place to live and find another man.
If you are married to your unfaithful man, then divorce him and move on. This will be a very difficult task if finances and children are involved; however, you have to put some distance between this man and yourself.
Ironically, if this man really hurt you, then you won't have any trouble getting him out of your heart. Why? Because when he broke your heart, he also lost alot of respect in your eyes. Chances are you are so fed up with his cheating, that your love has turned into disgust.
In the end, you are the only one that can get this unfaithful man out of your heart. You are the only one that has the power. Use it!
Showing posts with label Getting Over Your Cheating Unfaithful Man. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Getting Over Your Cheating Unfaithful Man. Show all posts
How to Get Over the Grief of a Cheating Husband
How do you begin to get over the grief of a cheating husband? It isn't easy and it will take a lot of time. Everyone will handle this process differently. Some will heal slowly and others will never be able to get over the fact that their husband cheated on them.
This is a very serious and slow process. The pain doesn't go away overnight. Unfortunately, you may be able to forgive your cheating husband in time, but you will never forget what happened. It will always be a part of your deep memory. However, try to move on.
DO:
1. Continue talking to your husband. In order for you to get over your pain, he has to be willing to talk to you and answer your questions about what happened and why. In addition, you and your husband have to talk about the future of your relationship.
2. Take time to heal and understand your feelings. Take the time to get over the shock and determine what you are going to do next. Are you willing to forgive your husband. Do you want a divorce. You need time to digest a lot of information.
3. Have an open mind. Make your decision, but make them with a clear mind. Remember, if you don't get closure on this situation, you will take this baggage to your next relationship. You don't want to punish the next man for your husband's illicit affair.
4. Get Marriage Counseling. If your husband is serious about regaining your trust and forgiveness, he should participate in marriage counseling. You and your husband will probably need a third party to help put your marriage back on track.
DON'T:
1. Don't Blame Yourself. This was not your problem. You didn't do anything wrong. Your husband violated your marriage vows. You didn't do anything to justify his cheating. If there were problems within your marriage, your husband should have confronted you about them and gone outside of your marriage.
2. Don't contact the other woman. She is not the problem at this point. She never was the problem. Your husband is the problem. If it wasn't this particular woman, it would have been another one. Questioning the other woman will not help to put your marriage back on track.
Getting over a cheating husband is a very hard and painful thing to do; however, with time you will be able to go on with your life.
This is a very serious and slow process. The pain doesn't go away overnight. Unfortunately, you may be able to forgive your cheating husband in time, but you will never forget what happened. It will always be a part of your deep memory. However, try to move on.
DO:
1. Continue talking to your husband. In order for you to get over your pain, he has to be willing to talk to you and answer your questions about what happened and why. In addition, you and your husband have to talk about the future of your relationship.
2. Take time to heal and understand your feelings. Take the time to get over the shock and determine what you are going to do next. Are you willing to forgive your husband. Do you want a divorce. You need time to digest a lot of information.
3. Have an open mind. Make your decision, but make them with a clear mind. Remember, if you don't get closure on this situation, you will take this baggage to your next relationship. You don't want to punish the next man for your husband's illicit affair.
4. Get Marriage Counseling. If your husband is serious about regaining your trust and forgiveness, he should participate in marriage counseling. You and your husband will probably need a third party to help put your marriage back on track.
DON'T:
1. Don't Blame Yourself. This was not your problem. You didn't do anything wrong. Your husband violated your marriage vows. You didn't do anything to justify his cheating. If there were problems within your marriage, your husband should have confronted you about them and gone outside of your marriage.
2. Don't contact the other woman. She is not the problem at this point. She never was the problem. Your husband is the problem. If it wasn't this particular woman, it would have been another one. Questioning the other woman will not help to put your marriage back on track.
Getting over a cheating husband is a very hard and painful thing to do; however, with time you will be able to go on with your life.
Should I Love An Unfaithful Man?
Should I love an unfaithful man? How many times do you keep asking yourself this question? Surprisingly, this is a very hard question to answer. The answer isn't as cut and dry as many people would want it to be.
The truth of the matter is if you love him, you will continue to love him. A part of you will always love that part of him that existed before he became the cheating monster that he is today. A part of you will always be in love with him. And yes, probably all of your heart, mind body and soul will always love him.
Love has nothing to do with the equation. If you didn't love him you wouldn't be asking the question. The question should be "I love an unfaithful man. How do I proceed from here?" This is because no matter what you decide to do, you will always love him.
That's not the point. The point is can you continue to stay with him. Can you continue to be by his side when he is unfaithful? Can you find it in your heart to forgive him if he stops cheating and commits to rebuilding your relationship? Can you find it in your heart to stay with him even if he continues to cheat? Are you finally leaving him after putting up with years of his cheating?
You see, the question isn't whether or not you should love an unfaithful man. Because if you love him, you will continue to do so even if you decide to forgive him or leave him. Sadly enough, just because he cheated does not mean that you do not love him anymore. It just means that you have to make some decisions about how you are going to handle his cheating and your love for him. In the end, only you can really answer the question as to whether or not you should love an unfaithful man.
The truth of the matter is if you love him, you will continue to love him. A part of you will always love that part of him that existed before he became the cheating monster that he is today. A part of you will always be in love with him. And yes, probably all of your heart, mind body and soul will always love him.
Love has nothing to do with the equation. If you didn't love him you wouldn't be asking the question. The question should be "I love an unfaithful man. How do I proceed from here?" This is because no matter what you decide to do, you will always love him.
That's not the point. The point is can you continue to stay with him. Can you continue to be by his side when he is unfaithful? Can you find it in your heart to forgive him if he stops cheating and commits to rebuilding your relationship? Can you find it in your heart to stay with him even if he continues to cheat? Are you finally leaving him after putting up with years of his cheating?
You see, the question isn't whether or not you should love an unfaithful man. Because if you love him, you will continue to do so even if you decide to forgive him or leave him. Sadly enough, just because he cheated does not mean that you do not love him anymore. It just means that you have to make some decisions about how you are going to handle his cheating and your love for him. In the end, only you can really answer the question as to whether or not you should love an unfaithful man.
Am I Asking Him Too Many Questions?
Are you asking your cheater too many questions? Why are you even asking THIS question? The simple answer is "has he answered all of your questions?" Yes, I answered a question with a question.
Let's try this again. No, you are not asking too many questions if you still have unanswered questions rolling around in your head. He had an affair. You have zillions of questions. If your cheating man wants to reconcile and rebuild your relationship, then he should want to put forth the effort and answer your questions.
He may not want to answer all of your questions, but if he wants to regain your trust, he has to be willing to do everything within reason to ease any of your fears or concerns. Yes, I said within reason. You probably are going to want to know every explicit detail, but is that really helpful?
For example, you might want to know what type of sex he had with her and if you ask this question, he should answer it. However, do you really need to ask 5 or 6 other questions for the details? The details will probably hurt you even more. You know what happens during sex. Connect the dots...briefly and move on. Don't make yourself nauseated and angry with the details.
If you need answers, he needs to provide these answers . You have every right to them. He should never ever try to skip around a topic if you try to nail him down. But, remember, seek and you shall find. Don't get mad at him if he does not give you the answers that you want to hear. Sure, ask as many questions that it will take in order to help you during your cheating grieving process. However, don't ask if you aren't able to handle the truth.
Let's try this again. No, you are not asking too many questions if you still have unanswered questions rolling around in your head. He had an affair. You have zillions of questions. If your cheating man wants to reconcile and rebuild your relationship, then he should want to put forth the effort and answer your questions.
He may not want to answer all of your questions, but if he wants to regain your trust, he has to be willing to do everything within reason to ease any of your fears or concerns. Yes, I said within reason. You probably are going to want to know every explicit detail, but is that really helpful?
For example, you might want to know what type of sex he had with her and if you ask this question, he should answer it. However, do you really need to ask 5 or 6 other questions for the details? The details will probably hurt you even more. You know what happens during sex. Connect the dots...briefly and move on. Don't make yourself nauseated and angry with the details.
If you need answers, he needs to provide these answers . You have every right to them. He should never ever try to skip around a topic if you try to nail him down. But, remember, seek and you shall find. Don't get mad at him if he does not give you the answers that you want to hear. Sure, ask as many questions that it will take in order to help you during your cheating grieving process. However, don't ask if you aren't able to handle the truth.
Recovering From A Cheating Man
Recovering from a cheating man is not an easy thing to do. It's not impossible to do, but it sure isn't easy to do. Actually, it's almost a process. You recover in stages. You get better one day at a time. You take little baby steps. All in all, recovering from a cheating man isn't going to happen overnight.
You are going to feel pain, but you will get better. You'll get to a point where you can eat a piece of food again. Then you will be able to eat a full meal. At some point you will be able to eat with other people around. This is because you will eventually participate in social settings. Food is a major part of many social settings. You will get to point where you are able to do and participate in the normal things in life such as eating and socializing. Recovering from a cheating man happens slowly.
Although you will eventually recover from your cheating unfaithful man's infidelity, YOU have to make the decision to do so. How are you going to recover? Are you going to forgive him and work on your relationship? Or, are you going to leave him and go your separate ways? It is your decision.
You also have the choice to do things in your own time. But remember, recovering from a cheating man isn't going to happen overnight. If you forgive him, you are going to have to work on your relationship. If you decide to leave him, it will take a little time before you are able to love and trust again. It will not happen overnight, but it will happen.
You will get through this!
You are going to feel pain, but you will get better. You'll get to a point where you can eat a piece of food again. Then you will be able to eat a full meal. At some point you will be able to eat with other people around. This is because you will eventually participate in social settings. Food is a major part of many social settings. You will get to point where you are able to do and participate in the normal things in life such as eating and socializing. Recovering from a cheating man happens slowly.
Although you will eventually recover from your cheating unfaithful man's infidelity, YOU have to make the decision to do so. How are you going to recover? Are you going to forgive him and work on your relationship? Or, are you going to leave him and go your separate ways? It is your decision.
You also have the choice to do things in your own time. But remember, recovering from a cheating man isn't going to happen overnight. If you forgive him, you are going to have to work on your relationship. If you decide to leave him, it will take a little time before you are able to love and trust again. It will not happen overnight, but it will happen.
You will get through this!
Grief From Cheating
Are you experiencing a lot of grief from cheating? This is a terrible type of pain that makes your whole body hurt. You can't eat. You can't sleep. You really can't function. The pain just won't go away. Worst yet, you don't know what to do to make it go away.
Not only are you in pain, but you are angry. No, actually mad as hell! You are mad at him for being an inconsiderate cheating unfaithful man. But, you are also mad at yourself for not knowing that he was cheating.
Your life involves so much pain and anger. It seems like the two will never go away. But, they will....eventually. It will take a lot of time, but the pain and anger will go away. For now, cry, cry and cry some more. You need to get all of these strange feelings out. If you hold them in, you will not heal. You will not get any better. I don't think that you want to feel this way for the rest of your life. So, yes, grieve for your cheater. In all practical senses, your past relationship has passed away.
Cry, get all of that horrible pain and destructive anger out of the way.
You will need your strength and a clear mind... for later.
Not only are you in pain, but you are angry. No, actually mad as hell! You are mad at him for being an inconsiderate cheating unfaithful man. But, you are also mad at yourself for not knowing that he was cheating.
Your life involves so much pain and anger. It seems like the two will never go away. But, they will....eventually. It will take a lot of time, but the pain and anger will go away. For now, cry, cry and cry some more. You need to get all of these strange feelings out. If you hold them in, you will not heal. You will not get any better. I don't think that you want to feel this way for the rest of your life. So, yes, grieve for your cheater. In all practical senses, your past relationship has passed away.
Cry, get all of that horrible pain and destructive anger out of the way.
You will need your strength and a clear mind... for later.
Bad Reasons For Staying With A Cheater
Your man cheated on you. You have decided to stay with him. This would be fine if you were staying for the right reasons. Have you really thought this through to the very last detail? Basically the majority of the your reasons for staying with your man are hogwash:
You have always had a partner. You are one of those women that has always had a boyfriend ever since high school. You've always been a part of a couple. Quite frankly, you never learned how to be a person. Your identity and self worth are all tied up with your cheating unfaithful man. If you are married with children, some of this has been shared with your children. You do not need this man to be worthy. How is he going to validate you when he is not worthy himself? Find another reason!
Your cheating unfaithful man is the breadwinner. Some would say that this is a very good reason to stay with your man. You don't have an income. Although this may be the case now, you can always learn a skill that will give you income. Also, there is such a thing as alimony. The scary thing is that the woman is the one that gives up her standard of living after a divorce. However, you can change this. Find a way to get an income or continue to be unhappy with your cheating unfaithful man. Find another reason!
You are staying for the children's sake. A lot of people would agree with you. You have to think about the children's well being and change of lifestyle. However, if there is a lot of tension in the household anyway, it may be better to leave. They are probably just as stressed out as you are. This was a noble reason, but no cigar!
You still love him. You will always love him. He probably still loves you. However, he is a cheater that makes your life miserable. Unless he is willing to stop and regain your trust, love does not count. Move on! You need another reason!
You think that he will change. This could very well be a possibility. Do you really want to stick around for another 5 or 10 years and wait for something that may never happen? Within those years of waiting you could have found a new love and moved on. He may not have always been a cheating unfaithful man, but there isn't any proof that he will change for the better. Find a valid reason for staying!
You know that he won't change, but you know that he still loves you deep down inside. Okay.....how is this working for you? You know, this is just another form of being in denial about your cheating unfaithful man. It sounds like you have bought into that lie about "Men will cheat, but they know where home is." Don't fall for this silly type of thinking. Of course he knows where home is. If you believe this, he also knows that he can get away with this behavior forever. This is possibly your worst reason for staying!
If these are the only reasons that you are staying with your man, then they are not good enough. Although staying for the children might be understandable. You should always be mindful of the children. Do not let this stop you from living the life that you deserve. Leave your cheating unfaithful man now if you can't find any good solid reasons to stay.
You have always had a partner. You are one of those women that has always had a boyfriend ever since high school. You've always been a part of a couple. Quite frankly, you never learned how to be a person. Your identity and self worth are all tied up with your cheating unfaithful man. If you are married with children, some of this has been shared with your children. You do not need this man to be worthy. How is he going to validate you when he is not worthy himself? Find another reason!
Your cheating unfaithful man is the breadwinner. Some would say that this is a very good reason to stay with your man. You don't have an income. Although this may be the case now, you can always learn a skill that will give you income. Also, there is such a thing as alimony. The scary thing is that the woman is the one that gives up her standard of living after a divorce. However, you can change this. Find a way to get an income or continue to be unhappy with your cheating unfaithful man. Find another reason!
You are staying for the children's sake. A lot of people would agree with you. You have to think about the children's well being and change of lifestyle. However, if there is a lot of tension in the household anyway, it may be better to leave. They are probably just as stressed out as you are. This was a noble reason, but no cigar!
You still love him. You will always love him. He probably still loves you. However, he is a cheater that makes your life miserable. Unless he is willing to stop and regain your trust, love does not count. Move on! You need another reason!
You think that he will change. This could very well be a possibility. Do you really want to stick around for another 5 or 10 years and wait for something that may never happen? Within those years of waiting you could have found a new love and moved on. He may not have always been a cheating unfaithful man, but there isn't any proof that he will change for the better. Find a valid reason for staying!
You know that he won't change, but you know that he still loves you deep down inside. Okay.....how is this working for you? You know, this is just another form of being in denial about your cheating unfaithful man. It sounds like you have bought into that lie about "Men will cheat, but they know where home is." Don't fall for this silly type of thinking. Of course he knows where home is. If you believe this, he also knows that he can get away with this behavior forever. This is possibly your worst reason for staying!
If these are the only reasons that you are staying with your man, then they are not good enough. Although staying for the children might be understandable. You should always be mindful of the children. Do not let this stop you from living the life that you deserve. Leave your cheating unfaithful man now if you can't find any good solid reasons to stay.
Forgive His Cheating?
You've decided to forgive your cheating unfaithful man. After months of being on that emotional roller coaster, you are exhausted and just want to get on with your life. You caught your man cheating, but you felt like the circumstances surrounding his actions did not warrant ending your relationship. This was a very tough decision to make because he did after all violate your trust.
You still don't trust him completely. That part of the relationship will probably come in time ...if at all. You honestly think that your man is very sorry for his cheating ways and he won't cheat again. People make mistakes. He made a huge one by cheating on you. Although it will take some time to rebuild the trust in your relationship, you are confident that you made the right decision. Deep down inside, you feel that forgiving your cheating unfaithful man was the best possible option available.
You still don't trust him completely. That part of the relationship will probably come in time ...if at all. You honestly think that your man is very sorry for his cheating ways and he won't cheat again. People make mistakes. He made a huge one by cheating on you. Although it will take some time to rebuild the trust in your relationship, you are confident that you made the right decision. Deep down inside, you feel that forgiving your cheating unfaithful man was the best possible option available.
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